Chopping Board Review – choosing your best chopping board

Chopping Board Showdown: Three Boards That Actually Don’t Suck

Right, I’ve absolutely murdered more cutting boards than I care to admit. Warped ones that rock like a wonky pub table. Plastic ones that look like they’ve been through a food processor. Wooden ones that split faster than England’s World Cup hopes.

So when I say these three boards are worth your hard-earned cash, I mean it.

Pick based on your actual situation:

• Deer & Oak simple, sustainable and perfect for the minimalist who still wants quality.
• LARHN for boards that can survive your kitchen disasters, great value for money and customers properly rate them.
• Winged Sirius if you’re secretly a bit OCD about germs and love gadgets that actually work.

Deer & Oak: For the “I Shop at Waitrose” Brigade

This bamboo board costs £12.99 and honestly? It’s rather brilliant if you’re into the whole minimalist, save-the-planet vibe. My mate’s missus bought one because it looked proper smart on her Pinterest-perfect kitchen counter, but it actually delivers.

Here’s the thing about bamboo – it’s tougher than a two-pound steak. This board laughs at water damage while regular wooden boards curl up like they’re having a proper breakdown. The 38x25cm size means you can actually chop an onion without playing kitchen Tetris.

What’s Ace About It:

• Made from 100% organic bamboo (the eco-warriors will love this)
• Naturally water-resistant so it won’t warp like a biscuit left in tea
• Non-porous surface means fewer bacteria hiding spots than your average board
• Over 3,300 customer reviews giving it 4.6 stars – clearly people aren’t taking the piss
• Pre-oiled and ready to go straight out the box

What’s Not So Brilliant:

• Hand-wash only (can’t just bung it in the dishwasher)
• Some customers moan about splintering over time – oil it regularly or suffer the consequences

But seriously, with ratings like that, it’s doing something right. One reviewer said it’s “like having a bit of Zen in your kitchen,” which sounds pretentious but I get it.

LARHN: The Goldilocks Job

Fifteen quid for three boards? That’s less than most people spend on a cheeky Nando’s.

This set gives you small (22x15cm), medium (28x22cm), and large (33x22cm) boards. Dead clever for keeping your raw chicken away from your pudding prep. These boards are proper thick too – 1.5cm of solid bamboo that can handle serious chopping.

The Good Bits:

• Three different sizes so you can actually organize your cooking (revolutionary concept)
• Extra-thick construction with alternating grain layers – built like tiny wooden battleships
• Sustainably sourced bamboo with plastic-free packaging (Mother Earth approves)
• Optional non-slip feet included for added safety
• Handy holes for hanging storage

The Not-So-Good:

• Still hand-wash only (because apparently dishwashers are kryptonite to bamboo)
• No major complaints from customers, which is suspicious but also reassuring

Customers are properly chuffed with these. One bloke wrote: “Quality is spot on, perfect for my small kitchen where space is at a premium.” Another said they’re “smooth as silk and clean up brilliantly.”

Winged Sirius: The Neat Freak’s Paradise

Twenty quid for what’s basically eight boards in one? This thing is either brilliant or completely mental. But after testing it, I’m leaning toward brilliant.

Picture this: one massive bamboo base (42x34x3.5cm – it’s enormous) with seven colour-coded mats that clip on top. Red for meat, green for veg, yellow for bread, blue for fish, purple for dairy, orange for cooked food, and white for fruit. It’s like a rainbow of food safety madness.

What Makes It Good:

• Ultimate hygiene solution – no more cross-contamination nightmares
• Everything goes in the dishwasher (yes, EVERYTHING)
• Extra-large size means you can prep for the entire street
• Built-in rubber stands keep it rock solid while you’re hacking away
• Integrated storage compartment for the mats (proper organized, this)
• Can replace individual mats when they wear out

The Downsides:

• Heavy as anything – like lifting a small coffee table
• The mats will show knife marks eventually (but then that’s what they’re for)

Customer reviews are mental good for this one. One person wrote: “Game changer for food prep – I can’t believe I lived without this.” Another said: “My OCD is finally happy in the kitchen.”

The Numbers Game: Side-by-Side Comparison

The Reality Check

None of these boards will turn you into Gordon Ramsay – that’s down to you. But they won’t actively sabotage your cooking either, which puts them miles ahead of about 60% of the cutting boards doing the rounds.

Pick based on your actual situation:

• Deer & Oak if you want simple, sustainable, and don’t mind mollycoddling your board a bit. Perfect for the minimalist who still wants quality.
• LARHN if you fancy options and want boards that can survive your kitchen disasters. Great value for money and customers properly rate them.
• Winged Sirius if you’re secretly a bit OCD about germs and love gadgets that actually work. Yes, it’s the priciest, but it’s basically eight boards for twenty quid.

Just remember – whatever board you choose, look after it properly. Oil the bamboo ones now and then, don’t chuck wooden boards in the dishwasher (except the Winged Sirius), and for crying out loud, don’t use them as serving platters for hot grub.

Trust me on that last one. I learned it the hard way, and my worktop still has the scorch mark to prove it.

Now stop fannying about and pick one. Your Sunday roast veg are waiting.